Zoo Keeper Rosie instructs me on how to handle the meerkats

It is the silly season so now for some fun and frolics. I spent the pre Bank Holiday weekend being a Whipsnade zoo keeper for a day! My wife Margaret brought it for my birthday and I must say Whipsnade deserve a big accolade for organising the whole experience. I would recommend it to anyone who likes animals.

compare the meerkats

We were given a perpetually cheerful keeper, Rosie, to take us around and make sure we didn’t get into any danger when we were less than a metre away from tigers, chimps and rhinos.

A wolverine – not cuddly – it can kill a moose with no trouble

As you can see we got really close to some animals – including feeding the meerkats – diet live crickets- and letting elephants take apples from our hands. I am now an expert on rhino poo having shovelled a few kilos of it and know how to hide elephants and chimps food  in trees, tyres and on ledges.

my prehistoric Tory friend at close quarters

I have hand fed rhinos, giraffes and penguins and thrown dead chicks to wolverines.  I have watched at close  quarter a tiger devour a meat joint in just 15 minutes.They are all very demanding, pretty publicity conscious, and  they love playing to the gallery, just like MPs really!

So  to take your mind off the grim world of politics, government spending cuts, Brian Coleman and  Andrew Lansleyfor one moment, here are the equivalent animals. I let you guess who should be who. No prizes offered.

elephant feeding time with keeper and fellow day tripper

An Alpha Male with the strength of eight humans. Ed Balls? Not Nick Clegg