Boris Johnson recently told the London Assembly that he simply could not afford to give a 4 per cent pay rise to the lowest paid staff at City Hall because “everyone is feeling the pinch.” He may yet be forced to make an appeal on his own behalf. This is how it might look.
These are hard times. Everyone is feeling the pinch. But it is much worse for those at the top who now face crippling taxes while having horrendous responsibilities for clearing up the mess left by those nasty Socialists..
What you don’t seem to realise is how badly off I am. Don’t you realise thanks to Dave’s dodgy decision to keep the 50 per cent tax rate which is driving my mates away from the City, I am having to pay MORE in extra tax on my £400,000 a year than some of you will ever earn in a lifetime.
As mayor I need proper time for r and r and this doesn’t come cheap. While only on New Year’s Eve I needed to shell out over 35,000 rupees a night- £501 in British sterling if you must know – for a camping holiday in the middle of the Indian scrub.
And while lying in my tent I was about to be upstaged by a load of Russian oligarchs with oodles of cash arriving from Amritsar in a private jet! Fat chance of me travelling from London in the same style, even if I could hitch a lift from Lord Ashcroft. And that was without the cost of flying out by bog standard passenger jet and the prices for big fat Havana cigars and loads of Scottish malt whiskey which any Mayor has to consume to keep up public appearances.
Indeed I was forced to jump back into my personal hot tub to avoid indignity of being outspent by those Russians. Thankfully there was decent Chinese air com and an Italian espresso to calm my shattered nerves.
As you can see from the web brochure, http://www.the-serai.com/the_serai.html, it was a modest place, at least for a mayor.
Fortunately back in Blighty my good friend Fraser Nelson allowed me to recoup a little cash by writing about my holiday trip for my old magazine, The Sextator, sorry Spectator. You can read all about it at http://bit.ly/gbhGlx and my views about the Piccadilly line are thrown in for free.
But this extra cash is not going to be enough. I will need more money to keep the r and r I must have while I battle on. You can help me by contacting me by e-mail at email@example.com . Do give generously. As I told the London assembly everyone is feeling the pinch.